bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
