I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
