Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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