You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's Friday. Sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
