Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
