I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
