Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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