Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
These tits shall not be calmed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
