i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
