so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me I should be a condom model.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
