Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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