I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
