I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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