direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
