I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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