Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
