Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
