You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
