friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
