you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Congratulations! We have a period
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
