Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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