3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
