the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
