I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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