It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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