Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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