If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
