just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
