M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
