but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
