When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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