Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
