Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
