Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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