just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
