So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
