Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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