batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
