so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
