okay pat passed out under dana's car
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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