We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
