Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
