I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
