i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize