i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
