i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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