We're facebook friends in real life
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
