They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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