One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
