There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
