A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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