i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
