I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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