Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
