I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize