I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
