Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
