I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
