i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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